Friday, February 3, 2012


The contest closes it's door on the fifth. I've been feeling more and more distracted lately. I've been feeling as if I'm trapped inside a box with no doors and everyday is the same. It's almost suffocating. I don't know where I'm going or what is going to happen and it makes me manic. I'm needing support but I have nothing but four walls and window. I try and try and sometimes want nothing more than to give up.

But if I gave up on my dreams,

I would lose the chance to inspire.

And that would ruin me. I want to be like the amazing woman authors who had inspired me with their tales. I want to leave a mark on this world like they have. And if I gave up I would be allowing all those horrible people who told me I was nothing, to win. I won't EVER give up. Someone out there will accept my work and will kick down the walls and build me a door.

Keeping that in mind is hard. It's natural for humans to want to give up when things get hard. Luckily I do have things to look forward to. Like the big anime convention in Seattle. Or my dream lolita dress that I finally bought. I have to keep those things in mind and keep moving forward. I'm going to focus on finding agents right now and starting my next project, whether it's the huge rewrite of Insomnium or the second novel to Promise Me. I'm not sure which to choose. So I can't say anything about either as of now.

If someone really does read this....

Never give up.



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