Monday, August 20, 2012


Finally hit the 20k mark in the novel I'm writing. I wanted to be at least at25k by the con so I'm somewhat on track. But I think I'm going to aim more towards 30k so I am back on track. No more "I'm not going to write" days. Otherwise I wont be done by the time I want. I want to start pumping out query letters by the start of next year. That gives me a few months to finish the novel and then start editing and start the query and synopsis. There is still a lot to do. I have the plot worked out and outlined (not down on paper....) I even have an idea for a second novel if I decide to make it a series.  Although I do have two novels (A high fantasy/steampunk bash of awesomeness and a urban fantasy with the grim reaper himself) planned before I start on that one. This novel takes a lot out of me. I want it to the way I see it in my mind so I'm being careful and slowly spinning it into what I had first seen when I saw this world in my dreams.

But it means I'll most likely be bringing my work with me during the con. Got to remember to see what's going on with my netbook. :/

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Happy Birthday

You should be here
Somewhere near
Today should have been
But isn't
I see it in mind
All planned out
A party just for you
Laughing loudly
I forgot again
It should have been honored
Keeping you alive

Happy birthday.

I know your name.

And I'll never forgot it.

A sea of dead grass and gray flowers
A feeling of dread and loneliness blooms
The trees guard it in silence
With one road that curves around in a cirle
It leads some into it's shadows
Where they realize
Life is precious 
And time has stopped here
Somewhere along those stones
You lay in piece
Hidden by the earth 

You are kept within a locket
With Alice smilling outside of it
Guarding you from stray eyes
Inside lies your past
Who you were
Who you could have been
When you left us
I seek you out
Like the rarest of all gems
Shining somewhere
Awaiting to be seen
You were here
At one point
And were loved
So very loved
In my thoughts you live
Fresh and happy
And someday
We will meet.

It's unreal
It's a nightmare
It's reality

Happy birthday to you
I wish you were here
So you could be showered with love
For you were born into this world
And were taken back so suddenly
But will always be remembered

Happy Birthday Heather.


Book Reviews

I'm going to go ahead and bring back book reviews since I don't have much to write about on this blog right now. Since I'm writing a novel right now and I really don't feel comfortable sharing about my work in less it was going to be published and had a copyright on it. So mean while I'll start doing two new things for this blog.

Detailed book reviews 

I'm creating a template for this now, so it'll be organized with what you need and what to know before reading the book. There will be two version, one that explains the whole book, plus the ending and one that has no spoilers. This could take a while as I'm getting ready for a con. But It'll be done soon. I may also do little reviews about manga too. Most of the reviews will be about YA (Young Adult) novels. Mainly what is on my shelf. I will however do some fiction novels as well.


Whatever I find on the web that inspires me for what I'm writing. I'll mainly being using pictures from search engines or on a share site. No artwork will be shown without the artist permission or in less I have bought a copy myself (Which I buy at least one piece of art from every con I go to.) If I wind up some how using something that belongs to you, please tell me and I will either give you credit or take the piece down if that is what you seek.

This won't happen right away since I'm leaving for a con on the 31st and I have a lot to do in order to get ready for that. So it will take some time.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

A thanks for you

My goodness. So many views lately. I'm not sure what I did but I thank everyone who's read one of my posts. Means a lot even if you are silent. I'm just glad that someone is lurking around and I'm not writing to myself. So thank you one and all who reads my posts. It's nice seeing the numbers jump.

Writing is going good for me. I'm getting back into the swing of things and becoming lost in the world I'm creating once more. Working on a novel is a serious commitment and it takes a long time to finish. Even when it's done, polished and maybe one of your best works you can still go through a lot of rejection. Blogging about my writing experience is a lot of fun and good way to release that stress that builds over time. I am thinking of the possibility of self-publishing my other novel, Promise Me but not until I work up a fan-base and get a paying job. So I hope one of you steps forwards and starts commenting. I'd love to hear your thoughts, how your novel is going.

My novel is at 18,112 words right now and 61 pages. I'm working my little behind off. Between working out and getting ready for the con I'm pretty busy but writing comes first and as I keep going forward, reaching my goal I'm really feeling okay about this novel. It may not be a best seller but I have high hopes it might get picked up and published. At least I hope so...

So once again and I cannot stress this enough. THANK YOU. For reading my blogs.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Updated book goal

Two blog posts in one night? CRAZZZZY. Yeah. Deal with it. I'm in a writing sort of mood. Any who...

I just reached my goal of 15k. Now I want to push myself since all my cosplay props are down and ready for the con at the start of September, I want to reach 25k by the end of the month before I have to leave for the con. I plan for this novel to be around 70,000 words. But knowing me it'll turn out 100,000 just like I did with my last novel. I want to be done by October. That's only two months to work on it. But I can do it. If I put my mind to it. I've started out slow and now am getting more into this story. I've put myself in the character's shoes and am walking fast. I hope this will be published. So I can start my career and publish my other novel. As well as the ones I plan on writing. For November I plan on starting my high fantasy novel for National Writing Month.

I named this novel The Glass Butterfly. Although I may still change it.

Thursday, August 2, 2012


August is always such a sad month for me. Although I have many things to look forward to, I can't help but to think about what happened this month all those years ago. How it haunts me today. I remember that day back when I was only thirteen and starting to grow up. It had been September I believe. We had just moved. It was cloudy outside and cold. My brother and I had been just dropped off at the house by our beloved grandpa who had picked us up from school.

Who would have know those ten minutes of being home would have changed my life forever. As I write this I am close to tears. Its weird mourning someone you've never met. But I have been since I first found out about her. Although it didn't really hit me until I grew up. Until that harsh numbness that coated me, wore off. It was then that I realized my sister was real and not some fictional character in one of my mom's movies.

This Augusta marks her twenty-fourth birthday. It's like a song that repeats in the back of your mind, never going away and when it stops it comes back just minutes later, leaving you no peace. I supposed its something like that. It's hard to believe it's real. But the void is obvious in this household. The way my dad says her name, it breaks my heart. A while back I had been pet sitting my grandma's doggie and stayed at her house while doing so. I took down the only proof of my sister's evidence. A little red photo book. Inside was the most beautiful poem about her written by my grandma. It not only made me realize my writing skill most likely came from her but that this little person and I looked so much alike.

But that she was real.

And very loved.

And all those bad feelings I had towards my parents for keeping her a secret melted off. And I was finally able to mourn. They believe that once you are dead you are gone. That there isn't a point in visiting the grave. I am not like them. I've been searching for that grave for a few years now. And it pains me  knowing I have to go back. I have to find her.

I'll never be able to meet her in this life time. But visiting that grave, see the proof. Letting myself see she's really gone, not switched, not lost. But gone. Will help me more than anything. Losing someone is hard. By the time I was in high school I had lost three beloved family members. I had to grow up very quickly.

She is always on my mind. I try to picture her, what she would look like now, but it's hard. At times when I alone I sit pretending she's next to me, smiling. When I can't smile I picture her smiling and somehow it helps. I hope we'll be able to be sisters again in another life time. So I can finally get to know what it's like.

I remember in high school, two sisters were fighting. I said very loudly "Why do sisters have to fight? Don't they know how lucky they are to have each other?" I stay true to those words. I refuse to fight with my brother, although I do tattle on him. Because what little sister doesn't? We have never been close. Never shared a conversation. Never said "Thank you." But he's the same as I. We both stare out the windows in wonder. Picturing what it would be like if she were here too.

It's a empty void that visits every August. But never really goes away. I used to say I'm living for her. But now that my life has stabilized, I realized that was just to ease myself into life. Now I'm living for myself but it doesn't mean I've forgotten her or ever will really. Even if I didn't know her. I know her. She'll always be here.

August is a very hard month for us. We lost someone very important. Someone who should have lived a full life. This year I might be lucky and stumble upon that little grave. I'll drop a single pink rose and whisper hello.

I'm your sister.

And I love you very much.