Friday, October 12, 2012


I'm finding it very hard to rewrite what was lost. I'm not being as positive as I had hoped I'd be about rewriting. Although don't get me wrong. I'm not giving up or anything. I suppose I'm just frustrated that the ending of chapter one is gone too. I can't remember how I had ended it nor had I saved it onto my Kindle. It sucks. I'm pushing through it, knowing I can't give up or quit. That isn't apart of my dream. Keeping myself inspired is a bit tricky since I can't really go anywhere to sit and relax and let go of all my stress and worries. I just applied for a job and I hope I can get it so all my stress can fly through the window. And maybe that's why it's hard to get into writing. I'm too stressed. Working on a side story for the fun of it helps as well as watching movies and openly talking about my novel and the ideas I have for it.

But all this stress is like a huge wall blocking my creativity. The only thing that can cure it is a job. For three years I've been looking for work. And still I haven't been able to even get called back or had a interview. It's frustrating watching as my friends on FB get called in for interviews and get job after job. I have gotten help through a GoodWill career center in the hopes of getting a job there but applying twice has gotten me no where and they guy knows how badly I need a job. I did just apply for a assistant pet groomer and I had forgotten to up-date my only phone number on the app so I have a good excuse to call the place next week and talk to the person in charge of hiring. I'm sort of glad I did make that mistake. Maybe it was fate. I sure would love that job.

Why stress? You get to sleep in. You get to play video games all day. You get to laze around in Pjs all day. You can do what you want when you want. Your parents aren't going to kick you out. So why would I be stressing?

Getting a job means...

  • Marriage
~ The biggest reason for getting a job. I've been engaged to my high school sweetheart for three years now. I want to be his wife so badly it hurts. We both want to start our lives, start a family and get a King Charles puppy!

  • Move out!
~ My parents will never kick me out. But that doesn't mean I want to stay living there. I'm engaged (See above) and am ready to start my life as an adult. Plus my parents are dealing with so much not having to pay for me would be so helpful and I really want them to be stress free too since it seems my older brother will not be moving out any time soon....(Seriously, come on you are twenty three(Or four) and have a high paying job. GET A LIFE. He doesn't even know how to do his laundry!!!!)

  • Did I mention a puppy?
~ My fiance and I have already talked it over and he's decided for a wedding gift he's going to buy me my dream dog, a king Charles spaniel! We already found a wonderful breeder in WA that isn't far and has the values I'd want from a breeder. The only animal (Besides my hamster and fish) that I'd be bringing with me when I move out is my beloved cat Maggie. So having a puppy would be amazing!

  • No more stress!
~ 'Nuff said.

I have a lot to work towards. And keeping my mind on these I feel much better. My future will be unknown but knowing these events are in it I feel at ease. My dream to become published will be up to me if it ever gets accomplished. And I will make it happen. I just have to focus on what makes me happy and not sad.

That's enough of that for today.

What's coming next on this blog?

  • Post about National Anti-bulling month.
  • Inspirational pictures
  • Book review 



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