Pre-contest talk 2

So I did some editing and feel fairly good about my novel. As I kept editing I began to notice I was being way too picky about my work. So I stopped and am leaving the MS alone. It's hard knowing what's on the line with this contest. Even winning second or first prize would knock down so many doors. Of course like everyone else I do want the grand prize but I'm not going to say I'm going to win it.

I can only do my best right now. The contest will either close on the 5th of February or when they reach 10,000 novel entries. I'm glad that it is now 10k instead of 20k like last year. I also noticed that the contest now ends in June not July. I'm so happy they changed things this year. Things that badly needed to be fixed and changed.

My feelings are all over the place. It's nerve racking. I'm excited but worried and on edge. I still haven't gotten a reply back from two of the four agents I sent queries to. So I'm guessing those are nos. I'll be sending out more later this week.

Looking back at the first finished copy of Promise Me, I can see just far I've come. At times I feel like I'm not good enough and I should give up and cook burgers for a living. Then I remember all those people who have told or made me feel useless. The people who have given up on me and erased me from their life, replacing me. Friends. Now enemies.

I have to prove myself. Not only to them but to me. That I'm not all those horrible things they had said about me. That I'm worth something that they aren't. That I have a reason. A meaning. A skill that is so special it inspires others. That's what I want most. I want to inspire.