The urge to write

I haven't written on here for a while. I've been so busy with props and costumes for an up-coming con and trying to find a job and writing my novel that I hadn't stopped to take a moment to express my thoughts on this blog. I'll admit I'm stressed and I have had a few moments where I re-think my novel and start wanting to write my other one but I'm proud to say I haven't stopped writing it.

Right now I am currently at 36,884 words and 124 pages. That's really good because months ago I couldn't even write more than 1,000 words a week. So I've changed a lot. I've reminded myself why I want to get published, why these stories I write are important to me. I've reminded myself that I love writing. It doesn't pay the bills right now but I love it. I want this to my career so I can proudly say I love my job. One step at a time right now. I'm taking things slowly. I don't want to rush it. If I'm not feeling it I write a little or do some out lining. Take a break and find myself wanting to write afterwards.

The urge to write has returned. My laziness is going away. I'm thinking about my novel, the characters, the plot all the time now. What can I do next? What twist would work in this scene? Should I kill this character? I'm having lots of fun. It's like playing the Sims. I'm in control, I can cause bad things to happen or good things to happen. It's a lot of fun. I've lost sight of all the fun I had writing when I was in high school.

I may not have much support anymore but I can do it as long as I believe I can. I do find it fun to tell people about my novels, the ideas I have and what I want to write about but I can't let me get down that I no longer have people who are interested in listening about me ramble about my writing. It's okay. I may be nervous and shy and maybe a little scary at times but writing changes that.

It pushes me to do my best, to step out of my shoes and into another's. I think that's what I like best about writing. It gives me a break from the norm. I can become someone else. Live in another world. I'm happy to say that I've fallen in love with writing all over again. And I hope that I can do my very best with what I have and make a damn good novel for you guys to someday read.