Butterflies

I've been thinking a lot lately and have started doing some research into something pretty big. I don't want to say much now but I can say that I am pondering the idea of self publishing an e-book. I've been struggling to find a job and since I am very serious about making writing my career maybe entering the scary world of e-books and self-publishing would be a good thing. Who knows maybe that could lead to an offer by an agent. For now I began the editing work, as well as re-writing some scenes I think need some updating. I've switched (Again) back to my Urban fantasy. So tonight while I edit and re-write those scenes I'm going to look for some good quotes I can write inside my new journal dedicated for this novel. I normally use a journal or notebook to write down thoughts, scenes I come up with throughout the day and other things related to the novel to keep me inspired and well organized.

I have to admit I'm scared about making my novel into a e-book so my main goal is to get published. I want that help from an editor and agent. I can edit fairly well myself and my fiance normally can pick up on any mistakes I over looked but I still would like that team feeling, all reaching towards the same goal. Plus getting published is my main goal. But self-publishing will help me for right now while I'm trying to reach towards my main goal. It's scary. Very scary knowing I wont have any help so right now I'm working my hardest, putting in all my thoughts, erasing them and re-writing them until I am happy.

It will take a while. I'm aiming towards my goal of 70-80k words and of course the bigger the better. I don't really know what is in the future for me but I can try as hard as I can and hope for the best. Now that I am no longer holding myself back I feel much better about my writing. There is this feeling I get from this novel. I still get it from my first novel (But hey, werewolves aren't over that Twilight disease yet, I understand.) so I have high hopes this might be the one. 

When I picked out this journal today it had a little quote written inside and it is...

We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever.

-Carl Sagan

This quote really inspired me. The novel I'm writing I call The Glass Butterfly is about not giving up on yourself and many other things. This quote reminded me that no matter how long I stop writing I can always go back. Nothing is stopping me. One day, one week, one month. It's okay to take some time off, sit and think things over, deal with reality. I suppose I've learned something important after re-reading GB's manuscript and that is I can't give up. My goal, my dream is too important to over look and that it is okay to take time for myself and say "Fuck looking for a job today. I'm going to write." I mean if someone wants to hire me they should be the one calling. So I'm going to ease off myself and allow myself room to think again. No more worrying (On the outside!) and take some time every night to write. I'm not saying it'll be easy but I can try. 

You can check out little sneak peeks of my novels here....http://jessica-gould.blogspot.com/

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