What I'm reading now

You can get it here!

I've read all three of Brenna Yovanoff's novels and I've enjoyed each one. The Replacement is by far my favorite but Paper Valentine is getting really good and might take that place of favorite. The Space Between was a bit too religious for me as I like to keep my reads neutral but I love this author. The way she writes is as if she's painting a portrait. I can see the characters in my head, feel their emotions, see what they see. And that means one thing...She's a good writer.


I picked up the Paper Valentine a few weeks ago but haven't gotten around to reading it until last night. I started reading around one and kept going until three. I sort of lost track of time. The emotion in this novel is strong. I was surprised that I was tearing up at parts. Books normally do not do that to me. But this one has and it's very inspiring.

Brenna Yovanoff is for sure up there with my top favorite authors now. I'm only on page 58 but it just keeps getting better. This book is addicting. I have to have it near me to read. It's really hard to put down.


Books are another great way to inspire yourself to improve yourself and keep writing. For a while I was so against myself and my writing I was too afraid to pick up a novel, knowing I would just compare my writing to what was inside a book. And that's very bad for not only your mind set but published books have been edited, cleaned and looked over many times. Of course your first draft isn't going to look like a published book. I was being too hard on myself and it ruined my mood for reading. But now I'm back on track and am happy with how my novel is going.

I'm going to use books as a tool. Using them to inspire me, keep me motivated. I could easily read a 300 page book in one day but I think I'll take my time with it as I'm enjoying the novel so much. I hear she's writing another novel right now. I can't wait to see what that one is call and what it will be about. I will 100% keep supporting this author as she's someone to watch.


I'll be doing these new "What I'm reading" every time I start a new book. I read fast so it could be days depending on how long I allow myself to read the book. I have one or two other new novels I haven't picked up yet so I'll post a little something about those later on too.

The book I'm most looking forward to is Holly Black's new novel, The coldest girl in Coldtown. I loved the short story version of this novel and I really cannot wait to read the full length story. It comes out in September.

Some great advice

I rarely ever open my Writer Digest e-mails, mainly because I get so many of them and most of them are about classes and crap. But I opened one today listed "How to push your characters to their limit." I found a few (great!) articles full of useful advice and tips.


http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/how-to-write-a-novel-7-tips-everyone-can-use?et_mid=619701&rid=233569065


The writer goes over a lot and I'll admit I've felt or am feeling a lot of what she's explaining. Plus if you notice on the side of the screen there is a ton of listed blogs and journals from literary agents. Those are very helpful for when your about to start looking into sending queries.

Anyway back to the that link.

I've many helpful things in it that will help me stay on track and keep inspired to write.

• Write the story you’d most want to read
• Begin with character
• Give that character a compelling problem
• Make things happen!
• Make it believable.
• Stick with it the project.
• And lastly: Ignore the rules. 

I've taken each of these to mind and realized I can help myself by putting them to use. For example (I'll use my main character of the novel I'm writing now.) The writer mentions....

"      In my books, I make sure something important to the plot is happening in each scene. And if there’s a scene in there that isn’t helping to move the story along in some vital way, I cut it, no matter how great it is. When I’m editing, I’ll go scene by scene and write a single word sentence describing the action on an index card. Then I lay the cards out and I’ve got the bare bones of my story. I can see if things are moving forward, if I’m throwing in enough twists and turns, and if there are scenes that just aren’t pulling their weight.   "

This is such a great idea! I think I may use this idea for my first novel when I rewrite that later on as well as the novel I'm writing now (When it's done being written and in the editing stage of course) I'm a very visually person so seeing the scene as it is on a note card by itself will really help me picture the plot better. This is a keeper! 

I'm definitely going to have to pick up some of Jennifer Mcmahon's books next time I go to Powells. I'm really inspired by her. And her books sound pretty interesting too. I love finding new authors to read and be inspired by. It just makes my day. 

I'm currently really close to finish editing the last little chunk of my novel. For those just tuning in, I decided to stay (Firmly) writing my novel, The Glass Butterfly and decided to re-read what I had. Once I had a renewed interest I started to edit what I had. I saw a few mistakes and some places I left out words (I do that a lot when I type fast or am tired.) and some scenes I wanted to change. I took out the second character view and replaced that with a new third person, patient transcript view. So I'm trying out some new things and getting rid of some that just didn't sit well with me anymore. 

Right now I am at 21,534 words and 73 pages. Not bad. But I'd like to be close to 30k. My goal is to get half way done or more than half way done by August so when I leave for my next convention at the very end of August I'll be sitting pretty well with my novel. 

I'm taking things slowly, step by step. And I'm finding myself really wanting to improve and try new things. A good sign that I'm interested in keeping with this novel. When I write now I don't think about "will this sell?" or "Will this impress so and so?" I'm thinking about the characters. In visioning the town, the forest, the characters. Thinking about how it would smell or how Zanna's favorite coffee would taste. What would she be wearing? Or how when will it rain next?

Lots of questions are flouting through my head and I'm really becoming excited about writing again. Good bye runt! I've found my will to write again! 

I'm going to leave by closing with something Jennifer wrote...

"It took me four books, two agents and seven years to get my first novel published. It was a long tough road, but so, so worth it in the end!"

Remember. This road is long. It's a journey that can be challenging and frustrating at times. Go pick up your favorite novel. Hold it in your hand and look down at the cover. See the author's name? That person went through the same journey. And you know what? They made it. They're book is sitting somewhere on someone's shelf. You can do it. I can do it. Just believe in yourself. Take your time. Plan things out. Most importantly, have fun.

-Jessica.

Going good

I haven't skipped the novel and moved on to another yet. I've been thinking about new ideas, new characters and new thrills to add to it. As well as getting really excited about the new additions that I will be adding into the novel. The main character is growing on me. I feel connected to her like I do with the cast from my first novel.

Characters are amazing. When you take the time to draw them up from nothing, give them likes and dislikes, they become real. My favorite thing is challenging them. Creating new twists and turns along their journey. I don't like mushy "moe-girl" books. I like that thrill, a consent threat that lingers throughout the novel. So I'm trying my best to take things slow (Thanks for that advice reader!) and am trying to really dig deeper into the plot.

And its going great. I'll admit I haven't had much time to write due to my job search and sewing (And gaming. Lol) but when am I editing or writing I feel really interested and good about this novel. So I'm going to try my best to keep it going. When I start writing from where I left off I want to aim about 1,700/800 words per day. This way not only will I write everyday but I will be done within a month or two. Which is great. I plan on taking about a month to edit and rewrite before starting on writing a synopsis and query letter. After I am comfortable with the novel and those important letters then I will start finding some agents and sending out some query letters.

That will be a fun/anxious adventure as it always is. And I will make sure I write all about that when the time comes. And when it does I'll make sure I'm 100% ready.

Thank you

Wow. Almost 5,000 views. That's pretty cool. When I started this blog it was mainly to write down my thoughts but has evolved into a writing blog. I never really thought so many people would view it. So thank you all who have stopped to view my posts. I appreciate it. I do want to do more with this blog but will need more active followers so for now there isn't much I can do until then.


When the views reach 5,000 I will share a full page from the novel I am writing now, The Glass Butterfly. At this point I am still editing but am really quite happy with how its going and am still inspired to keep writing this novel.  The novel is at 21,100 words right now. That's not too bad. I've cut about 1,000 words but can easily get those back once I start writing.

I like to try new things when writing novels so for this one I will have break between chapters (Voiced by the main character) by sections of therapy session conversations and notes that will give a unique look at the main character. I'll be trying to make the main character appear insane throughout the novel as the strange events become worse. Of course I can't say much more otherwise the ending will be given away. I'm most excited about the ending. It'll be great fun writing that up. I'll really be pushing myself with this novel. So hopefully all that work shows in the end.

Thanks again for all the views. Please comment, follow and share! The more views the better this blog will come!

~Jessica



Views as of today: 4620

Back on track!

I've been having some trouble staying with one novel, writing and keeping myself orderly. But ever since I got this blue journal with little silver butterflies I've found myself inspired to pick up one of my older stories. I've re-connected with the characters, the plot and am even finding myself thinking about the novel while doing other things. I got my mojo back! I've been using this journal I got as a way to keep me writing. For re-writing scenes I use it instead of opening a new word page. It's been helping me a lot. I'm thinking less about agents and what if and instead I'm thinking about how to improve, what is next in this story and it's been pretty fun. 

I keep myself busy during the day, between sewing projects and looking for a job, I write in between working on props or making lunch. And it's really becoming fun again for me. I guess I just needed to sit back and get rid of all those thoughts, to calm myself and give myself the time I needed. Now I can focus on writing again. I've been working up a playlist right now to help myself write using some of my favorite artists. This is what I've come up with so far...

http://jessica-gould.blogspot.com/p/playlists.html

I find keeping myself surrounded by inspiration while writing. It helps me keep on track. Some of the ways I do this are...

~Playlists

~Photos/artwork found online (I don't share these online, These stay on my computer or on my Kindle for personal use. I respect the artists and this is why I do not share them.)

~Movies and books

~Real world places (Palaces, abandoned places, forests, ect.)

Anyway my word goal sits no less than 80k. I'm not saying that's firm. Knowing me I'll go over that. I'm never firm about word goals. Once I'm writing the ending I keep going until the book basically finishes it' self.  When I have the feeling it's over I end it. I already have the ending plotted but that's the magic of writing. It can end it's self. 

I'm already at 22k and have high hopes for this novel. It's a fairytale sort of. But darker and more emotional. Like one of my favorite quotes goes...

"No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader." -George Moore

I want to really dig deeper into emotion. Focus on creating lots of tension and high emotional attachment. Meaning I'm going to kill a lot of characters off. Just kidding. This novel doesn't have many characters for me to kill off, unlike my other ones. Lol

So stayed tuned and check back. I'll be updated often as I write and share my experiences. And thank you for reading again! It means a lot. Not only do I have two watchers now but I've gotten another comment. If you comment and I don't respond do forgive me. For some reason Blogger no longer tells me if I have a new comment or what not. It's annoying and I'll try to fix that later on.

Butterflies

I've been thinking a lot lately and have started doing some research into something pretty big. I don't want to say much now but I can say that I am pondering the idea of self publishing an e-book. I've been struggling to find a job and since I am very serious about making writing my career maybe entering the scary world of e-books and self-publishing would be a good thing. Who knows maybe that could lead to an offer by an agent. For now I began the editing work, as well as re-writing some scenes I think need some updating. I've switched (Again) back to my Urban fantasy. So tonight while I edit and re-write those scenes I'm going to look for some good quotes I can write inside my new journal dedicated for this novel. I normally use a journal or notebook to write down thoughts, scenes I come up with throughout the day and other things related to the novel to keep me inspired and well organized.

I have to admit I'm scared about making my novel into a e-book so my main goal is to get published. I want that help from an editor and agent. I can edit fairly well myself and my fiance normally can pick up on any mistakes I over looked but I still would like that team feeling, all reaching towards the same goal. Plus getting published is my main goal. But self-publishing will help me for right now while I'm trying to reach towards my main goal. It's scary. Very scary knowing I wont have any help so right now I'm working my hardest, putting in all my thoughts, erasing them and re-writing them until I am happy.

It will take a while. I'm aiming towards my goal of 70-80k words and of course the bigger the better. I don't really know what is in the future for me but I can try as hard as I can and hope for the best. Now that I am no longer holding myself back I feel much better about my writing. There is this feeling I get from this novel. I still get it from my first novel (But hey, werewolves aren't over that Twilight disease yet, I understand.) so I have high hopes this might be the one. 

When I picked out this journal today it had a little quote written inside and it is...

We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever.

-Carl Sagan

This quote really inspired me. The novel I'm writing I call The Glass Butterfly is about not giving up on yourself and many other things. This quote reminded me that no matter how long I stop writing I can always go back. Nothing is stopping me. One day, one week, one month. It's okay to take some time off, sit and think things over, deal with reality. I suppose I've learned something important after re-reading GB's manuscript and that is I can't give up. My goal, my dream is too important to over look and that it is okay to take time for myself and say "Fuck looking for a job today. I'm going to write." I mean if someone wants to hire me they should be the one calling. So I'm going to ease off myself and allow myself room to think again. No more worrying (On the outside!) and take some time every night to write. I'm not saying it'll be easy but I can try. 

You can check out little sneak peeks of my novels here....http://jessica-gould.blogspot.com/

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Today

I'm going to stop playing around.

I'm going to remind myself of my dream.

I'm going to put my dream first.

I'm going to shut off all distractions, I mean you youtube.

I'm going to sit and put on music.

I'm going to become lost in my own world.

I'm going to write.

I have a lot going on. Trying to find a job, sew costumes, paint props, work out. Everything, including myself have gotten in the way of my dream. So I'm going to use this post to remind myself of the reasons behind my dream of getting published and someday being a published author. Many authors my age don't get published, they stuff their books in a folder on their computer and call it good. They don't take the time to learn about the market, they write for fun. Which I have no problem  Writing is fun and if that's your cup of tea, go for it. But I want something more. I want to aim higher. I'm going to be 100% real in this post, no hiding serious emotions.

When I first started writing I was a freshmen, only fifteen. The year before I was sitting in a very bad spot in life. I had been bullied seventh and eighth grade of middle school. That school I had been a new student. No one bothered to get to know me. It was a mess and I wont get into too much details otherwise this post would be too long. I'm not yet ready to share that part of my life. I might never be.

By the time I was fourteen I was planing my own death. I wanted nothing more than it. My depression and self-mutilation was so bad it was my only escape. I had no friends. No support. My parents turned a blind eye to my depression. It was when my grandpa died that I realized I wanted something more. I wanted to make him proud. It wasn't my time to go yet.

Luckily for me I got into a great and small high school. It was the best choice I had ever made in my life and return those teachers, that experience, saved my life. No one judged you. All the students were welcoming. And the first day of school there I came face to face with the man I would soon be engaged to.

But within all that craziness. I found writing. It never had been my dream to become an author. I wanted to be dancer, a singer, a zoologist, ect. Never an author. I loved to read don't get me wrong. My head was always in a book. I always marked higher than my grade level in reading. But writing had been hard for me when I was younger. I have many learning disabilities and when I was young writing was hard for me. I had a lot of help but it was really my sixth grade teacher who started the passion of writing. She was the first teacher to teach me how to write a story.

What ever I wanted to write. Just write it. I still have that very first story of mine. Oh how badly it was written. But it marked the first step towards a very long road. My high school teachers were even better when it came to writing and soon my passion would become lit. I couldn't stop. My first novel started out as a story. Nothing more than hasty written words in a old, beaten notebook. That notebook I still have too. It also shows how far I've come. Maybe I'll share it one day with my own readers. To show that if you put your mind towards something big, only you can make yourself better.

Promise me was my first novel. I rewrote it three times and now it sits ready for another smaller rewrite as over time I've reworked the plot. It is still my goal to get it published but not now. Not until all this Twilight crap blows over (Sorry I only like good books with heart and plot. Not "sparkle sparkle, I want to fuck a vampire" nonsense.)

Right now I'm working on my first fantasy novel. And I'm finding myself lost. Not that I don't have a plot or characters, no it's me that is slowing myself down. I've forgotten the reason I wanted to become an author. So here are those reasons.

~ I don't want to be like my parents.

I love them don't get me wrong. They are both strong and amazing people but they both didn't go to college and worked normal jobs, making very little money and having periods of barely having anything in the fridge. We lived a very good life as children. I want to be comfortable. I want work a job that I truly love and not do it because I have to. I want a career. I want to be something more.

~To show those who ever said I can't, that I can.

I've had a lot of people have told me I'm useless, I can't do anything, I'm nothing. I want to show all those (This is really my only selfish reason. Lol) that bullied me, forgot me, pushed me or abandoned me, that I am something. I made myself into something they might never be.

~To inspire others

This is my biggest goal. I want to create a space, a world for others who are going through the same thing I had as their age a world safe and magical for them to disappear into. I want to go to signing, have fun, inspire others with my story, show them they can be anything if they put their mind into it. I've been to a few readings/signings and I always feel so amazing watching those authors. They are always so inspiring, so honored to be there, watching their smiling fans. I want to to that too. It's my dream.


My reasons are mine and mine alone. I am going to fight for them. Prove to myself and to others I am something. That I have done a lot, not just sitting at my desk staring at a screen. That writing novels is what I am meant to do with myself. I just have to remind myself why it's important to me. So I can keep going forward, learning and improving myself the best I can.

I may not have school to guide me

Or friends that believe in me.

But I do have a small group of people who are still interested enough to ask me what I'm doing. How my novel is coming,w hat I plan to do next. I hope I can prove them right and show them I can get published. I'll take day by day and try my best. It's only a matter of time. Every minute counts.


So for now I am going to go write. Maybe I inspired you to pick up your long forgotten dream, dust it off and try again. No one can tell you to stop, to give up. You are the only one in control over your dream. So make it happen. Don't be lazy. Don't be like everyone else. Do something for yourself. Make yourself a life to be proud of. Just do it. Go forward, improve, aim high. You can do it.