Frustation

It grows day by day and sits heavily on my chest, over my heart like a ton of rocks. Growing minute by minute every time I stop and think things over. I have too many ideas. Characters made, plots ready to be written. But instead of words flowing I become stuck in a rut of which to write, will this sell? Or be another mound that grows rejections.

Many good sources and noteworthy authors will tell you to write what you love, not what will sell. And I'm at the point in my life where all I can think about is getting some sort of income so I can finally put my dreams into action.

But the worry grows every time I sit down and write. I'm sitting here trying to outline and I'm wondering if I should just give up writing novels. But when I take a few deep breaths and really think, I mean REALLY think it over I realize giving up is still not worth it. Writing is my love. And I have to try. I'm always talking about doing your best and giving up.

But its hard when you've had over hundred rejections even through you rewrite and rewrite over and over and over and over and over....do you get it? It's a lot of work writing 300 page, 100,000 word novels. So giving up means throwing that hard work away. I've never worked so hard in my life and its about time I focus on it one hundred percent.

So I decided to give this unnamed novel another chance, since its a rewrite I'm starting to wonder if I should change that. Make it its own novel. Change it to the point its a brand new project. First I'm going to give it a new name. Second, change the plot and create something refreshing, new, interesting. To not only to me but to....

A beta reader. I've been wanting someone new to read over my work for a while. My hubby is good but will give it very little thought. Plus he's...well very busy and I need someone who's more of a avoid reader like myself. So I'm starting my search, hopefully a friend will step up and do it so I can have a trustworthy person I can meet in person rather then some stranger online who could be stealing my ideas to use for themselves.


So we'll see how it goes. Hopefully it will turn out good and I'll feel refreshed, ready to write!