My last week as....

A teenager. Next week I'll be turning twenty. My early teens years started badly. I had moved, was depressed, self-mutilating myself, was bullied. I really didn't enjoy life until I started high school. I went a smaller high school with around 300 students. No, it wasn't a special high school, it was a normal public school that was smaller to avoid bulling and stuff like that. For students who wanted a smaller classroom size and teachers who take the time to get to know every student.

There were so many things I thought I would be doing by now. I'm sad to say none of them have come true yet. Turning twenty is not a good thing and I highly doubt I will be very happy on my birthday. Perhaps my hopes and dreams are so far out there I shouldn't have gotten myself so excited about them so quickly. I just wish I could have done more. I'm young I know. But already I feel helpless and useless.

The good news is I have lots of time to try, try, try. I won't give up. There isn't any reason to. Not yet anyway. I suppose putting on a fake smile now and again isn't so bad. At least I'm finally losing weight!